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You are Special, but not in the Way You Think

You are Special, but not in the Way You Think

How many times have you heard the saying: You are prefect just the way you are? How many times have you heard people say that you are special or they cannot live without you?

These are very comforting things to hear. After all, if you are frustrated or have met with defeat recently, wouldn’t it be great to hear that you are perfect? It definitely is soothing because the sting of defeat burns. It hurts to be told you’re wrong. This, of course, means there’s something wrong with you. There’s something missing in you. Being told that you’re perfect is the absolute best tonic to the harsh burn of reality. Those words-”you are perfect the way you are”-comes to you at the bottom of the pit of disappointment and frustration. These words are so sweet.

But they are also lies

You know it. Everybody knows it. It’s one of those group lies we love to cluster around. It’s as if by repeating this saying, they become true.

Sadly, it doesn’t work that way. A lie, regardless of how many times it is repeated and no matter how many people repeat and believe it, will always remain a lie.

Even worse, the more we feel that we are special, the more we fall into the trap of thinking that somehow, someway the world owes us something. I’ve got some bad news for you.

The world does not owe you anything. The world couldn’t care less and unfortunately, a lot of people think that they’re so special that the world would reward their feelings. The world doesn’t care about your feelings.

You know what it cares about? Results. Can you do the job or not? Can you do it fast enough or not? Can you do the job that meets a very high quality standard or not?

This is how the world operates. It’s bipolar— black or white. Feelings have no place in this calculus. Unfortunately, the more you think that you’re special, the more you think that you’re entitled.

 You’re not the center of the world. In fact, you were never perfect. It’s not even worth trying to be perfect because you aren’t perfect nor will you ever be.

You know what makes you special? Your limitations. Focus on those. Your limitations are really opportunities. When you look at your limitations as invitations for self-mastery, you start achieving things. You start going places.

However, when you look at your limitations as sources of embarrassment, humiliation, degradation, abuse, you’re going to make up all sorts of excuses and go through many hoops just to avoid them.

Accept your limitations. Use them as opportunities for self-mastery because when you do that, you become competent. According to the research study by Roy Beaumeister, real self-esteem comes from competence, self-confidence in turn comes from self-esteem. Choose to be good at something first. Choose to be competent first.

Base your life on the solid foundation of truth. And there’s nothing more truthful than competence. Either you can do something well or you can’t. Either you are up to the job or you’re not. No one can take this away from you.

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